deviant ART

[x]

the concrete expression by ~deftoned:icondeftoned:



cut and dry, and to the point-
mundane as walking out the front door-
three, four, five times, but no more.
where are we going to strive?
when are we going to drop?
i want a little more than i've got.
it's just human nature.
but to make sure, i'm skipping along
among this blue redundance
with an abundance of red regret, i move forward-
towards what makes us whole again, so i think.
i go and drink and we've been so split apart.
all these years-
all this swimming-
had to start trackin these fears from the beginning.
i'm grinning, thinkin, "but for what purpose are we serving?"
the referring Past is where the paint was once set,
still wet, it once passed as a fresh piece with time deferring.
but it gave out to fall off.
the Present caresses Eternity's walls soft,
just like i would yours-
the sound pours in the halls, forever rendered.
the Future is the EXIT signature sign
to where our weather's endeavoured.
the pleasure was all fine.
your presence makes me feel like
i'm droppin off the top of the Earth,
but i belong in the center.

silver dreams with a grey smile-tone
haunt my insulated soul on this scattered night.
like a bat in flight, dippin on and off the Sonar-
but so far i'm outta sight-
outta sound, poundin the ground as i swoop
within the loop, but i come up empty-handed.
stranded again, thinkin of things-
i wrap around you, linking these strings.
i'll never catch it, so the dream that it brings
is wretched.
and darling you're a queen
to my king with the checkered method.
let's just neglect it and move on.
i gotta go, so i'm gone.
©2006-2008 ~deftoned
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Submitted: March 6, 2006
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past-rumination innebriation session.

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~originill:iconoriginill: Mar 8, 2006, 8:50:03 AM
among this blue redundance
with an abundance of red regret

i go and drink and we've been so split apart.
all these years-
all this swimming-

the referring Past is where the paint was once set,
still wet, it once passed as a fresh piece with time deferring.


those hit especially hard. and that last scheme... oh bother. i ain't even gonna try to spray credit. but the entire feeling of post & sober slathered on time/space & love and hot damn. bravo.

--
my enemy said to me, "love your enemy."
and i obeyed him and loved myself. gibran
~deftoned:icondeftoned: Mar 10, 2006, 3:31:36 AM
yo thanks for that. i'm glad you see that shit too with the whole "time/space & love" aspect i tried to imply into it. i wrote this down when i was drunk one night and had to go back the next day to see what i spilled. seems jive lame that i the only time i tend to write somethin decent is when i got that 40oz to freedom, time to expend and a front porch to chill on. my little sister once told me: "good writers drink coffee on the weekdays and alcohol on the weekends.. the _best_ writers drink coffee on the weekends and alcohol on the weekdays". somethin like that.

i think this could use some touchin-up tho. there's parts of it i ain't really kosher with, but it is what it is for right now.


thnz again for the comment, my man.
time to go drink.

--
Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head.